hahaha spot-on

demons and a ghost?

I might be dead. Throat sliced open. Or something similar. The throat one seems more likely as I've had a close call with that one, doing the motions without realizing I was handling a knife. Barely avoided that one, did I? Did I fall off a window at some point? I've been hanging around them like that. High places, not caring whether I fall or not. In fact, the way I've been leading my life it's filled with situations that could easily have ended up with my demise and then just been rewritten in my mind as having gone differently because of denial. But it still doesn't change the fact that you've died, even if you refuse to accept it. It just means you'll go on doing the same things you did before dying, being as miserable as ever. Never being content, death brings you no repose, because you didn't really want to die. You wanted for things to change, but not by too much. In a way your pain defined your entire being, and letting go of that would have been the same as letting yourself die, a truer and more proper death. Not realizing this, you're stuck reliving your memories for countless times, forgetting everything and returning to nothing after the endless repetition has turned the meaningful meaningless. It's one way for things to go, but there are others. The hardest part about having died is realizing the fact.

And then there are cases where the dying side uses suicide as a means of escape, but someone on the living side can't deal with it, interferes. I understand this very well. Having something to say to you, having recognized the desire to get to know you better, and then finding out that you've escaped me completely. Makes me want to fight the weight of the world. I want to see what's under that shell of yours. Finding out that your cheerful, happy-go-lucky attitude wasn't of happiness, but sadness, made me want to see you truly happy. When I recognized this it wasn't too late. But I didn't act on that! I should have contacted you right then and there, sparing no method to reach you. It could have made all the difference in the world. I sorely want to know what it would have been like if I had realized earlier. This is driving me insane. Maybe I can find a way to, through this madness of mine.

Yesterday I ran across a street that couldn't, shouldn't have existed. I was to meet someone who lived at this fabricated street. Having lived in the area for about 10 years, I knew the layout very well. This street even had a name hinting at its nature. Except that this was an entire street just slipped into where there was no space for one and reality was bending. It was obvious that this street was "new", but looking at it and remembering the layout of the buildings it quickly became apparent that this street was IMPOSSIBLE. Yet, there it was, looking like it had been there for a while. It appeared like the rest but still stood out. I know that area very well. It couldn't possibly have been placed there without moving pretty much everything that had already been there. Someone had skillfully woven that path through, found a way to place an entire street where there couldn't be one. Witnessing it made my mind reel.

haha me too except that it was like a week and I got over the downs pretty fast

I've desecrated a lot in my days

it's a great game even if we're not worthy

AT LEAST I'M STILL ALIVE HAHAHAHAA