FACADE STAGEPLAY
Thu Jan 07 01 03 54 2016
TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?
GRACE
What for?
TRIP
That should be obvious!
GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!
(Al knocks on the front door.)
(Al knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Oh, he's here!
GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now! -- (interrupted)
TRIP
No, he's right on time!
GRACE
Trip...!
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
Al!!
TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you! -- (interrupted)
AL
Excuse me,
TRIP
Uh...
TRIP
Well, anyway... why don't you come in...
AL
I am the very cool online guy.
TRIP
Y -- yeah, come in, heh... -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
AL
who wants cuddles
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
AL
and a tip
AL
my penis tip
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
(AL knocks on the front door.)
(AL closes the front door.)
AL
COME OUT ALREADY
GRACE
Al,
AL
OF THE CLOSET
GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!
(AL hugs grace.)
GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound) -- (interrupted)
GRACE
By the way, you look fabulous!
AL
trip didn't get a hug
GRACE
Uh... well... um... (clears throat) -- (interrupted)
AL
but Grace did
GRACE
Well, anyway... make yourself -- (interrupted)
GRACE
Uh...
TRIP
Al, let me get you a drink.
AL
wow nice painting
TRIP
Ah, you -- (interrupted)
GRACE
Oh... huh... thanks...
TRIP
Well that's a nice thing to say. It's nice to hear, hmm, Grace?
AL
did you paint it yourself?
GRACE
Oh, yeah, that new painting, I just put it up this week... It's...
TRIP
Well, I don't know what the hell it is, so it must be good! Heh heh heh! -- (interrupted)
AL
it's lovely
GRACE
Yeah, yeah!
TRIP
So! Drinks!
TRIP
What would you like?
TRIP
How about a martini?
TRIP
Everybody tells me I fix the best drinks, so I'm sure you're -- (interrupted)
AL
yes please
TRIP
Perfect!
GRACE
No no,
GRACE
Al, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?
TRIP
but... uhh...
AL
martini is fine
TRIP
Okay! Good! I'll just whip up these bad boys real quick!
GRACE
(little sigh) You know Trip, he gets such pleasure from making fancy drinks for everybody. -- (interrupted)
TRIP
(quiet humming)
AL
i am a retiring alcoholic
TRIP
What? Yeah, no, uh, drinks coming right up!
TRIP
Grace, I know what you want, but I'll ask anyway... what would you like to drink?
GRACE
You know, I don't want to drink tonight.
GRACE
Just some mineral water for me.
TRIP
(frustrated sigh)
AL
don't be a negative nancy
GRACE
Yeah, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.
AL
you went wrong with trip
TRIP
Well wait a minute! I don't think you've taken a close look yet. Let it soak in a little!
TRIP
Alright Grace, your drink is ready.
GRACE
Thank you.
GRACE
So, about my decorating...
GRACE
(little sigh) This new painting above the couch is, uh, well, a -- an experiment...
AL
i'll let my penis soak into grace
GRACE
(nervous coughing) -- (interrupted)
TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...
TRIP
god, I don't, um...
AL
just a joke
GRACE
(nervous coughing)
TRIP
well...
TRIP
ha ha...
GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...
TRIP
ha ha ha!
GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha!!
TRIP
Ha ha ha, Al,
AL
you have changed since college
GRACE
heh heh heh...
TRIP
heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...
(AL comforts trip.)
TRIP
heh, ha ha...
TRIP
You're not afraid to say anything, are you?
AL
who i really want is
TRIP
put us on the spot...
TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?
AL
trip
TRIP
ha ha...
TRIP
(big sigh)
TRIP
Anyway, uh... what were we talking about? -- (interrupted)
AL
they call me crazy al the crack guy
(AL picks up a player's drink.)
TRIP
you're...
AL
because i sell crack
TRIP
Okay, Al, you know what? I think you should leave.
AL
no what the hell
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.
(Trip closes the front door.)
AL
i just tried to sell my wares dude