ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

Aurani · ^

Meanwhile, still no reply from sonatora, time to declare them dead since they've been afk for a few hours.

sonatora · ^

Aurani wrote:

Meanwhile, still no reply from sonatora, time to declare them dead since they've been afk for a few hours.

not dead (yet), but it's pretty sad

Aurelianus Augustus wrote:

ToraSona, take some pride in your existence you little shit. You wouldn't be talking about suicide if you knew how fast a life can be lost and just how lucky you are to be where you are. Do you see that hobo you meet every few days contemplating suicide? No you don't - even he has a shred of dignity. Man up and work out your problems, don't buckle in like a sissy.

easier said than done.

GladiOol wrote:

sonatora wrote:
i want to fucking die right now
Do you want to die because of new events or because of circumstances that have been unfolding for a longer amount of time? Are these thoughts new or have they been on your mind longer? If the situation is new, please do not do anything irrational.
I noticed your vegan trip being cut down short after two days already, and I wonder, is that something that happens a lot? Is such a thing not working out also something that wears you down?
Talk about the things that bother you. Do it with somebody close to you, or a doctor/therapist. If these are not options, get somebody you trust online to sit down with you. Life can change. Death cannot.

It's quite a long story but this didn't originate from the failed "being-a-vegan-for-a-month" thing

there's just so many things that I strive to work for, and yet, they bear no fruits. even if i try being charitable or the latter, i end up losing something.

it isn't easy to see everything that you worked hard for, you've dedicated your precious time to, and the things that you actually looked forward to just being ruined by your fantasy bubble popping and slapping you with the realization that you have friends who take you for granted. i always feel this inferiority that i'll never be happy as they are, but I just pretend that i'm okay. i feel useless because in the end, i'll have nothing but fake people using me over and over again. the story just repeats itself, and for some god-sent reason, i always take the fucking bait because i'm a retarded piece of shit

i really don't want to get with the gory details, but that's pretty much what's inside me right now

i feel used, i'm done. i really am backed in a wall right now, and i have no cards to play. i'm done

Last edited by sonatora (2016-07-28 00:45:41)

Aurani · ^

sonatora wrote:

i feel used, i'm done. i really am backed in a wall right now, and i have no cards to play. i'm done

And you think the solution is to kill yourself? As a final fuck you to the people who mistreated you? Yeah no, if those faggots you call friends really care that little about you they're gonna move on without you just as quickly as you off yourself.
Your parents and family are going to be depressed for life however, knowing that their sweet child would rather have its own bloodkin suffer forever just because a few people are being mean.

Stop being retarded and man the fuck up, go talk to people who actually care, let them know just how rotten you feel on the inside, sitting in a corner and drowning in your own misery is not the answer, go seek help, be it from your loved ones or professionally.

Aurelianus Augustus · ^

"Easier said than done."
If you won't put any kind of effort into making your life be worth something, then no wonder you want to kill yourself. What you need is someone who can punch you in the face really hard and beat you until you're all blue, because wanting to kill yourself out of laziness to take action and because you don't like your current situation is definitely worth someone planting a dildo up your arse to teach you a lesson.

The ONLY reasons to kill yourself are if you have a disease that will slowly eat away at you so you want to end it and if you have nothing to live for. Everything else is trivial to say the least and is more than fixable.

Mara · ^

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd9OhYroLN0&t=26s

Hades Izanami · ^

And just completed Crash Bandicoot 3 at 105%. Damn.

tupsu · ^

most of you guys would make awful therapists

suicide is like taking care of the rat problem in your house by setting fire to the house
in the end the rats will probably just move back into the remains of the house anyway
anyway if you're in any capability to do so you should consider finding someone, professional or just a friend (or a stranger because that has definitely worked for me before) to completely unload on, with your whole life story or just the shit going on now, whichever you feel like. the good thing about professional people is that they can come up with all sorts of shit to make you feel better in the long time, such as therapy and medication, but yo I've been there I know how hard it is to go to somebody like that, friends are just fine as long as they've told you it's fine and it doesn't become the only thing you ever talk about. my psych is in Iceland right now and she's coming back next week and I kinda miss her since I see a lot of myself in her even though I had lots of doubts about her at first.
now I realised I've forgotten to take my medicine this morning

GladiOol · ^

Please don't tell him to open up if you're also calling him a retard in the process for doing so when he says he feels awful and believes dead to be an option.

sonatora · ^

Took the day off at univ for today just so that I can think about my suicidal thoughts

Thanks alot, it was a good wake up call. Killing myself would only do them a favor and I'd rather haunt them with my presence rather than my undying spirit

i have no words to describe everything that's inside me right now, but at least, i felt more composed and ready to face tommorow. sorry for saying cowardly things and escaping my problems with the sweet release of death. i promise to not take my life for granted

Hika · ^

time to bug you later on

but no seriously, I know exactly how you feel, except, you'd be giving in to yourself, and everyone knows that you don't really wanna die. you just wanna be happy and get everything you've ever wanted.

I haven't really told anyone this, except the stupid Serbian, but I disappeared off the face of the earth for literally two weeks because I got sent to a crisis center for cutting myself. I literally went mad crazy and after being there, it made me think that there are actually people that cared about me, even the people that wanted to abandon me at the time because I was deemed "unhealthy". it's been roughly a year and a month since that happened but it made me realize that even though my mom (who's literally from the motherland and not a native born american) didn't understand how i was feeling, she felt my pain because I cried like all the time and I just felt like I wanted to die. she didn't know how to tell me she was there for me but she tried, and she constantly lectured me, telling me that she didn't want me to leave her or my brother, because we really only have each other in the end.

I know that I agreed to get on meds and go through therapy but that really didn't help cause literally I overdosed on pain killers like two months later and had to get my stomach pumped, but I got a really good kick in the ass when my friend, currently my fiancé, told me that I still had too much to experience. he said, the self explanatory, it's gonna get better over time. I lost my job then too because they were insensitive and I quit university last year for a while because my mental health and state were more important. that's something you should consider doing as well because school can really stress you out.

tl;dr i went into a mental breakdown for several months of my life and now i'm better and you should try to keep your head up because it wouldn't be fair to people around you whether you notice it or not
so yeah um blah blah some stuff i'll probably bug you on skype later on to make sure you're okay if i'm not dying or something

Mahogany · ^

I just wanna say: As much as we all really want to help you, we can't. You really need to talk to a professional about this. I've been in a similar place, but antidepressants made everything a lot better for me, if you're not on them already.

Please don't throw everything away like that.

IppE · ^

Mahogany wrote:

but antidepressants made everything a lot better for me

They don't really solve the problem though.

Aurelianus Augustus · ^

Hika wrote:

I haven't really told anyone this, except the stupid Serbian

Only if you don't count the other 8 billion people living on this planet. :V

Also, it's King for you, charcoal girl. <3

IppE · ^

Aurelianus Augustus wrote:

Also, it's King for you, charcoal girl. <3

I'm going to need some factual proof of that being the case or otherwise I'm charging you of fraud.

Hika · ^

Whatever you want, King faggot. <3

Yeah but, seriously try to seek out a professional for these type of things. Sometimes, it might not work and just simply talking to your peers and friends may help, but it's not 100%.

I know for me, a therapist didn't help and neither did antidepressants. I took them for an extended period of time and all they did was give me a false sense of security when I was going through withdrawal. It depends for everyone. My therapist was also a cunt and I had to go through multiple ones until I went to my most recent one. He simply said that if I didn't feel like going, I didn't have to. I just found it more comforting to talk about my issues with someone.

also I had a lot of sex
sex seriously helps and I'm not kidding

Last edited by Hika (2016-07-28 12:47:24)

^ #11311 2016-07-28 00:34:38

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #11312 2016-07-28 00:42:29

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