ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

SaigonAlice · ^

Aurelianus Augustus wrote:

I could name you a bunch of games that are not open-world but deal with space and have far better gameplay, graphics and are actually far, far more entertaining.
I mean for fuck's sake, the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the graphics of that game is just how bland and cartooney it is. If I'm gonna explore the universe, I'm expecting dark, unknown shit, not a cartoon version of a planet and its "ecology". Also those ships have less fucking polygons than the original Homeworld (a game that came out in 1999.) ships have.
God forbid I actually try the game out and make a list of all that bothers me to fuck.

For example, Star Control 2

Last edited by SaigonAlice (2016-08-17 07:36:35)

Hades Izanami · ^

Rayman Origins is for free during August at Uplay as part of Ubisoft 30th Anniversary.

Koma · ^

>uplay
fucking ew

>anything ubisoft at all
fucking ew

Last edited by Koma (2016-08-17 15:38:14)

Hika · ^

literally wiped Ubisoft out of my memory until you mentioned it. Trash.

Hades Izanami · ^

Well, the Steam version has no trading cards, but hey, you save 20 bucks. \:D/

Ambivalence · ^

Decided to write some really shitty RWBY fan-fic, here's a portion of the imaginary fight between Blake Belladonna and Ruby Rose because Blake was sent as some double agent, and some misunderstandings happened. The first part of the fight is currently around 600 words and pretty long, so I put it in a spoiler box.

▼Hidden text

The silence was so strained that it became unacceptable to even the minds of the most steadfast fighters.

So Blake swung her arm, aimed, and plucked her finger.

Ruby shoved herself to the right in accordance with the swift snag of Blake's finger while the projectile flied through the air. She roughly heaved Rose until she saw Blake around the sight, and tugged the trigger. Rose’s caliber is larger than you can imagine, she thought.

But she has to yank the bolt to expel the empty case and let the bolt usher in a new, larger cartridge. Blake swiftly witnessed Ruby's sudden jerk of the trigger, so she flowed effortlessly to the right in a circular arc to let the bulky caliber scrape only her clothes. She knew about Rose’s unwieldy bolt-action mechanism, and aimed down the sight to pluck her finger again.

Ruby knew too about Shroud’s lightness, and shifted away from the smaller caliber in another circular arc. Ruby approximately glanced Blake near the sight, and tugged the trigger. However, Blake danced to further along her circular arc just as Ruby yanked the clunky bolt...

And soon, the paths of the two contenders each sketched the same circle counter-clockwise around a non-existing center repeatedly. Their bullets darting through the air centimeters away from their left flank. Their breathes formed two different rhythmic melodies in counterpoint. Their eyes tenaciously nailed to the spiraling other.

Then, Shroud produced nothing but an audible click after Blake snagged her finger. Within an infinitesimal span, the same was to Rose when Ruby pressed her finger.

The two different minds noticed the quandary of her own, the other, and both together. They contemplated instantly, concluded that the best following procedure is to reload, and unwittingly reached an almost comical consensus.

Blake lightly stroked a button to displace the clip, nimbly snatched another, slid it up the grip, and drew the slide. Ruby squeezed Rose to eject the magazine, and hauled a second one. She stuck in it Crescent Rose, wrenched the bolt, and let the cartridge be nudged into place.

Just as Ruby heard the cartridge maneuver into place, she heaved the scythe to her back, pressed the trigger as fast as Rose could allow to propel herself to bisect Blake by the waist. Blake wouldn’t let this happen. When Rose came into range, she slid Shroud under Rose’s blade, and abruptly shifted Shroud upward.

A second, unexpected quandary arrived. Although Rose’s blade divided the air above Blake, Blake forgot that Rose doubled as a rifle. She was staring down a deep dark tunnel that is Rose’s barrel. Rose too, was staring down another dark, but shorter tunnel. Blake had pointed Shroud at Ruby’s head subconsciously.

They instantaneously weighed the outcome of each action and reaction. As a result, both heads swung away, followed by two simultaneous bangs with one considerably larger then the other.

Blake was bleeding from a vertical wound the size of her thumb near the outermost edge of her left eye. She side-stepped deftly to the right, but Rose’ caliber was too big. Had she a human left ear, the deafening roar would have reduced it to a bloodied hole. Ruby had not the dexterity but the luck that Blake was not using something bigger. She only lost some of her hair, and the top half of her ear.

(To be continued, with Blake’s Clone and Ruby’s Speed Semblances)

Please provide some potential insight if possible. I know I use too much verbs for the same time, but I couldn't find a better word that carries the same connotations.

P.S. iwl.me says I write like Stephen King. Close enough.

P.P.S. Because run-on sentences need to be eradicated.

Last edited by Ambivalence (2016-08-18 00:27:01)

Aurelianus Augustus · ^

>RWBY

Koma wrote:

fucking ew

Ambivalence · ^

Aurelianus Augustus wrote:

>RWBY
Koma wrote:
fucking ew

As fucked up as it sounds, I want to write a RWBY fan-fic in an ASOIAF fashion, with class, ideology, and faction conflicts, political intrigue, immersive POVs, mature themes and topics, and deaths piling up.

Last edited by Ambivalence (2016-08-17 17:03:21)

tupsu · ^

Ambivalence wrote:

Decided to write some really shitty RWBY fan-fic, here's a portion of the imaginary fight between Blake Belladonna and Ruby Rose because Blake was sent as some double agent, and some misunderstandings happened. The fight is currently around 600 words and pretty long, so I put it in a spoiler box.
▼Hidden text
The silence was so strained that it became unacceptable to even the minds of the most steadfast fighters.
So Blake swung her arm, directed Shroud's sight around Ruby, and plucked the trigger. Ruby shoved herself to the right in accordance with the swift snag of Blake's index finger. She roughly pointed Rose's sight at Blake, tugged Rose's trigger too, but yanked the bolt to expel the empty case and released her heavy grip on the bolt so as to prepare a new cartridge. But Blake was already out of the trajectory of the bulky-caliber-ed bullet because she swiftly witnessed Ruby's sudden jerk of the trigger and flowed effortlessly to the right in a circular arc. Blake plucked Shroud's trigger again at Ruby's position with Ruby around the sight. However, Ruby again heaved herself away from the bullet in the fashion of another circular arc while tugging Rose's trigger for the second time with the sight close to Blake and yanked the bolt to replace Rose’s cartridge. However, Blake flowed again to the right further along her circular arc...
And soon, the paths of the two contenders each sketched the same circle counter-clockwise around a non-existing center in the middle repeatedly. Their bullets darting through the air centimeters away from the left fringe of their skin, their bodily sweat soaking and spreading through their clothes, their gasps forming two regular rhythms at different speeds, their eyes nailed to the other.
Until nothing but an audible click emerged from Shroud when Blake plucked the trigger while the same thing happened to Rose when Ruby tugged the trigger within an infinitesimal span.
The two different minds noticed the quandary of her own, the other, and together, and contemplated instantly and concluded that the best next procedure is to reload, unwittingly reaching an almost comical consensus.
Blake lightly stroked a button to displace the empty magazine, and nimbly snatched an Earth Dust magazine to slide it up into the cavity in Gambol Shroud’s grip. Lastly, she drew and freed the pistol slide. Ruby squeezed Rose to eject the exhausted magazine, hauled a Gravity Dust magazine, stuck in it Crescent Rose, wrenched the bolt, thrust her hand elsewhere to the grip, and heard the bolt nudge the cartridge into place.
Blake then proceeded to aim and shoot again, but Ruby was getting too large. Just as Ruby heard the bolt maneuver, Ruby threw the blade of the scythe to her back, and tugged the trigger as fast as Rose could allow to propel herself so she can bisect Blake by the waist. Blake wouldn’t let this happen, and when Rose came into range, she slid Shroud under Rose’s blade, and abruptly shifted Shroud upward.
A second, unexpected quandary arrived, Blake forgot to take into consideration the barrel of Rose. Although Rose’s blade divided the air above Blake, now she was staring down a deep dark tunnel. Rose too, was staring down another dark, but shorter tunnel when Blake thrust Shroud forward not in an act of deliberate offense, but serendipitous defense. They instantaneously considered again like their last quandary of the outcomes of each other. Their conclusion resulted in the swinging of two heads away from the dark tunnel, and two simultaneous bangs with one larger considerable larger then the other.
Blake was bleeding from a wound the size of her thumb near the outermost edge of her left eye. She side-stepped deftly to the right, but Rose’ caliber was too big, had she a human left ear, that deafening roar would have reduced it to a bloodied hole. Ruby had not the dexterity but the luck that Blake was not using a heavier weapon and only grazed some of her hair.
(To be continued, with Blake’s Clone and Ruby’s Speed Semblances)
Please provide some potential insight if possible. I know I use too much verbs for the same time, but I couldn't find a better word that carries the same connotations.
P.S. iwl.me says I write like Stephen King. Close enough.

it's complete trash
you don't know when to use commas and when to use semicolons or dashes
your attempts at tying the sentences together are just bad, you're trying to say things indirectly which isn't working and it's just kinda clumsy trash

t. editor in training

Aurelianus Augustus · ^

Ambivalence wrote:

Aurelianus Augustus wrote:
>RWBY
Koma wrote:
fucking ew
As fucked up as it sounds, I want to write a RWBY fan-fic in an ASOIAF fashion, with class, ideology, and faction conflicts, political intrigue, immersive POVs, mature themes and topics, and deaths piling up.

Alright, I'll read it when I'm back home, because here the only real people who read books and have any kind of knowledge about writing are the ones who come online rarely.

Koma · ^

Read my Katawa Shoujo fanfic while you're at it, Miki fans prepare.

▼Hidden text

We promised a date this following Monday. I have ordered a table in a high quality restaurant, outside the house's terrace with an enthralling sight straight down to the ocean. I have requested a soundproof door closing all the sound coming out or in the inside restaurant, above and besides us we have atmospheric lighting and Chopin playing in the background. A menu which contains shrimp soup for appetizer and a tenderloin steak with garlic butter, baked potato and green salad made of the season's best ingredients for the main course. Drinks contains a glass of water and for the wine politics the fuckily expensive Jacques Selosse Initiale Blanc de Blancs should do. We will enjoy the tasty and soft shrimp soup at our own pace and once the main course comes to the table it will be my time to ask the important question. I will slowly observe as she penetrates the edge of her medium fried steak with her meat knife and scrapes the garlic butter between her fork and the bit she just cut. She will proceed inserting the bit in her mouth and this will be my moment, when she least expects it. I've had this small ring box kept in my left hand for a while now and I've been nervously waiting for my moment to make my proposal.

She has the bit in her mouth. Okay, now. I stand up and slowly, but strongly stomp my left hand including the ring box to the table. I bend my upper body closer to her and follow up with an elbow strike straight to her mouth. The fork the bitch was still gnawing on caused fierce damage to her tongue, gum and the top to bottom layers of her pharynx. Oh the vicious purling sound her vocal cords struggle to push through the blood running down all the directions inside her neck. I take her meat knife and slice her both eyes open, I take the steaks from our plates and stuff one in both of her eyes. The muscles around her eyes vibrate by a reflex causing the steaks roll both in different directions. Dear lord, she looks like a fucking cricket! I take the ring out of the box and tape it to the top of my cum moist pleasure limb. The ring has diamonds so it should cause a warm feeling of friction as I enter her throat and grind back and forth. It feels so good so I can't say what the hell's fucking inside there, I feel her tongue scar rags between the wrinkles of my foreskin and below the hook of my glans. Bending down the steaks to poke my balls as I hump her face was a creative and an effective idea for extra pleasure.

Now the body language is done and it's time to spit out what I have to say: "Miki, you mean everything to me. I love you from the bottom of my heart. Will you marry me?" There was a moment of silence, then she said: "Purll durlll". I did not understand so I took my glitterstick out of her mouth to hear what she had to say. "Pulrlrl rulrlr, rurululrl" she said. I noticed the ring has disappeared from my cock which must mean she has accepted my ring and proposal. What a joyful day. After mumbling viciously a while, she runs towards the door and starts clumsily slapping the soundproof windows. People inside the restaurant notice this and wave back happily. Getting excited aren't you, honey? I hit her spine with my knee, and throw her to the fence of the terrace, ass facing to my direction. She did not wear any pants, must be the force of habit from using her own body as currency and getting away with everything the most of her life. There's still some blood from her throat dribbling in my cock, so entering her batter hatch will be nice and easy.

I've spared an overdose of proteins just to fuck her today with maximum power. Her body feels kinda numb, so I get the feeling my protein savings are streaming down in vain. I slap her tits from behind and shout out "BITCH YOU AWAKE?!". No response, I broke two of her fingers and shout out again "BITCH YOU HEAR ME?!". Now I hear a "prrrllllllrhuhrll". Good, she is with me right on the moment of climax. I shoot our baby inside her, throw her on the chair, sit myself legs spread and lit a cigar. I feel worked out. Waiter steps inside the terrace and asks if we need anything. I ask him to take a picture from the two of us sipping the wine and enjoying the sunset. She's not very lively, I had to hold her glass and pour the wine down her mouth. That fucking negress cunt! That was gorgeous! this could have been a good memory! I told the waiter to take my tip and cum on her face.

I have suddenly had an urge to ask her a question: "Does my cum mixed with your own blood taste good?" I shove that precious hair clip of hers deep up her urethra and hang her up to the ceiling with her dress wrapped on her insanely strong legs. I beat her up till each one of her orifices explodes. She squeals with weak tone. praying for my forgiveness. "Does it feel good dear candy pie? Oh, Miki, it is your turn to please me, my passionate and creamy tooth brush is ready to demolish that negligible and useless little mouth of yours!" Suddenly a rain of golden cap comes down the direction of ceiling and I see a fountain of piss squirting from her disfigured ureter, spilling in various directions from the slots between her hair pin stuck in deep. What a dazzling view.. I can't take this anymore, I'm in heaven.. I'm coming!!

Brian OA · ^

No

Hades Izanami · ^

yes

IppE · ^

Koma wrote:

Read my Katawa Shoujo fanfic while you're at it, Miki fans prepare.
▼Hidden text
We promised a date this following Monday. I have ordered a table in a high quality restaurant, outside the house's terrace with an enthralling sight straight down to the ocean. I have requested a soundproof door closing all the sound coming out or in the inside restaurant, above and besides us we have atmospheric lighting and Chopin playing in the background. A menu which contains shrimp soup for appetizer and a tenderloin steak with garlic butter, baked potato and green salad made of the season's best ingredients for the main course. Drinks contains a glass of water and for the wine politics the fuckily expensive Jacques Selosse Initiale Blanc de Blancs should do. We will enjoy the tasty and soft shrimp soup at our own pace and once the main course comes to the table it will be my time to ask the important question. I will slowly observe as she penetrates the edge of her medium fried steak with her meat knife and scrapes the garlic butter between her fork and the bit she just cut. She will proceed inserting the bit in her mouth and this will be my moment, when she least expects it. I've had this small ring box kept in my left hand for a while now and I've been nervously waiting for my moment to make my proposal.
She has the bit in her mouth. Okay, now. I stand up and slowly, but strongly stomp my left hand including the ring box to the table. I bend my upper body closer to her and follow up with an elbow strike straight to her mouth. The fork the bitch was still gnawing on caused fierce damage to her tongue, gum and the top to bottom layers of her pharynx. Oh the vicious purling sound her vocal cords struggle to push through the blood running down all the directions inside her neck. I take her meat knife and slice her both eyes open, I take the steaks from our plates and stuff one in both of her eyes. The muscles around her eyes vibrate by a reflex causing the steaks roll both in different directions. Dear lord, she looks like a fucking cricket! I take the ring out of the box and tape it to the top of my cum moist pleasure limb. The ring has diamonds so it should cause a warm feeling of friction as I enter her throat and grind back and forth. It feels so good so I can't say what the hell's fucking inside there, I feel her tongue scar rags between the wrinkles of my foreskin and below the hook of my glans. Bending down the steaks to poke my balls as I hump her face was a creative and an effective idea for extra pleasure.
Now the body language is done and it's time to spit out what I have to say: "Miki, you mean everything to me. I love you from the bottom of my heart. Will you marry me?" There was a moment of silence, then she said: "Purll durlll". I did not understand so I took my glitterstick out of her mouth to hear what she had to say. "Pulrlrl rulrlr, rurululrl" she said. I noticed the ring has disappeared from my cock which must mean she has accepted my ring and proposal. What a joyful day. After mumbling viciously a while, she runs towards the door and starts clumsily slapping the soundproof windows. People inside the restaurant notice this and wave back happily. Getting excited aren't you, honey? I hit her spine with my knee, and throw her to the fence of the terrace, ass facing to my direction. She did not wear any pants, must be the force of habit from using her own body as currency and getting away with everything the most of her life. There's still some blood from her throat dribbling in my cock, so entering her batter hatch will be nice and easy.
I've spared an overdose of proteins just to fuck her today with maximum power. Her body feels kinda numb, so I get the feeling my protein savings are streaming down in vain. I slap her tits from behind and shout out "BITCH YOU AWAKE?!". No response, I broke two of her fingers and shout out again "BITCH YOU HEAR ME?!". Now I hear a "prrrllllllrhuhrll". Good, she is with me right on the moment of climax. I shoot our baby inside her, throw her on the chair, sit myself legs spread and lit a cigar. I feel worked out. Waiter steps inside the terrace and asks if we need anything. I ask him to take a picture from the two of us sipping the wine and enjoying the sunset. She's not very lively, I had to hold her glass and pour the wine down her mouth. That fucking negress cunt! That was gorgeous! this could have been a good memory! I told the waiter to take my tip and cum on her face.
I have suddenly had an urge to ask her a question: "Does my cum mixed with your own blood taste good?" I shove that precious hair clip of hers deep up her urethra and hang her up to the ceiling with her dress wrapped on her insanely strong legs. I beat her up till each one of her orifices explodes. She squeals with weak tone. praying for my forgiveness. "Does it feel good dear candy pie? Oh, Miki, it is your turn to please me, my passionate and creamy tooth brush is ready to demolish that negligible and useless little mouth of yours!" Suddenly a rain of golden cap comes down the direction of ceiling and I see a fountain of piss squirting from her disfigured ureter, spilling in various directions from the slots between her hair pin stuck in deep. What a dazzling view.. I can't take this anymore, I'm in heaven.. I'm coming!!

Seriously debating whether I should ban you for that or not.

tupsu · ^

B A N
A
N

^ #12466 2016-08-17 07:33:27

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12467 2016-08-17 15:30:53

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12468 2016-08-17 15:36:09

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12469 2016-08-17 15:58:46

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12470 2016-08-17 16:09:52

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12471 2016-08-17 16:15:05

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12472 2016-08-17 16:49:00

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12473 2016-08-17 17:02:43

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12474 2016-08-17 17:06:37

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12475 2016-08-17 17:11:49

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12476 2016-08-17 17:20:13

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12477 2016-08-17 17:46:33

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12478 2016-08-17 17:46:55

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12479 2016-08-17 18:14:09

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

^ #12480 2016-08-17 18:18:18

Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

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