ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

Brian OA · ^

Part of the problem is assuming there is an expectation to begin with. Even if there is, it's not something you ought to mind; I very much doubt anyone can be driven by such a flimsy reason long enough to actually get anything done. Just focus on your own thing.

Aurelianus Augustus · ^

That's only because you don't understand the situation. The reason may be "flimsy" to you, but for a lot of people it's a way of life.

fittan · ^

correction: for a lot of sheep it's a way of life

just live your own life however you want, just don't expect neverending support if that choice is to be an alcoholic NEET

tupsu · ^

fittan wrote:

if ive learned anything from life its that living with the pressure of carrying on legacy is the worst and you should completely disregard it and live your own life, they chose to succeed through hard work and can't expect you to be as fervent to """"make it"""" (by society's standards) in life

the worst part is no one ever asked me to do any of this, it's just this constant pressure that I was pretty much born with
and I know it's going to fuck me over and burn me out, but that just makes me worry even more

thelewa wrote:

underachieving in the face of such expectations has a certain novelty to it
my great great great great great great great... granddaddy was a Fennoman Bishop and he wrote a book on words.

that is commonly called a dictionary
nice book though

Brian OA wrote:

Part of the problem is assuming there is an expectation to begin with. Even if there is, it's not something you ought to mind; I very much doubt anyone can be driven by such a flimsy reason long enough to actually get anything done. Just focus on your own thing.

I mean, you got it that there isn't an outside expectation (just some disappointed tutting if I don't go to uni or some shit), but I'm an incredibly unmotivated person
this fear of failure is the one internal motivation I've had for a long time, and I'm not really sure what to do about it since it feels like it's waning

Brian OA · ^

I'd recommend you cut back for one moment on that fear. It's certainly a good thing to have around, but finding something to do with only that on your shoulder would be setting yourself up for failure, as ironic as it may sound.

Instead, focus on finding out what you'd like to do or what you might be interested in. The goal is to find an incentive of your own. Talk to people or look up articles and blogs on certain careers. Work a shitty job if you haven't already. Meet people and find out what they do. Travel if you can. Anything could provide some very valuable insight.

Aurelianus Augustus wrote:

That's only because you don't understand the situation. The reason may be "flimsy" to you, but for a lot of people it's a way of life.

You're right; I don't understand the situation. Still, my point is that that shouldn't be someone's way of life in the first place. The root of the problem, if applicable to this case, is that you end up aiming for something huge for a reason you're not really on board with. That's what is flimsy about it. Something like that will only cause frustration and inadequacy. And while it could work out given the right circumstances, I wouldn't count on it.

fittan · ^

doctor seemed genuinely scared of me having salmonellosis and CRP test didn't show very high inflammation which also supports it, delivering a sample of my dookie doo doo to them tomorrow and will know in a week if im carrying it or not.
fun times

Aurelianus Augustus · ^

Brian OA wrote:

You're right; I don't understand the situation. Still, my point is that that shouldn't be someone's way of life in the first place. The root of the problem, if applicable to this case, is that you end up aiming for something huge for a reason you're not really on board with. That's what is flimsy about it. Something like that will only cause frustration and inadequacy. And while it could work out given the right circumstances, I wouldn't count on it.

Alright, I understand that, but what if the person actually wants and is capable of meeting the expectations? In that case it isn't right to tell someone they're retarded, that it shouldn't be anyone's way of life or "a sheep" as Fittan mentioned it there.

In tupsu's case, yeah, I understand, but in general it's quite out of place to assume such a thing.

Brian OA · ^

If the person in question wants to do it, then it's perfectly fine, yeah. That's mostly what I'm focusing on. I don't think there's anything wrong with meeting expectations or carrying on with something like a name per se. It's common for people to feel obligated to do it instead of actually wanting to, is all.

tupsu · ^

Aurelianus Augustus wrote:

Brian OA wrote:
You're right; I don't understand the situation. Still, my point is that that shouldn't be someone's way of life in the first place. The root of the problem, if applicable to this case, is that you end up aiming for something huge for a reason you're not really on board with. That's what is flimsy about it. Something like that will only cause frustration and inadequacy. And while it could work out given the right circumstances, I wouldn't count on it.
Alright, I understand that, but what if the person actually wants and is capable of meeting the expectations? In that case it isn't right to tell someone they're retarded, that it shouldn't be anyone's way of life or "a sheep" as Fittan mentioned it there.
In tupsu's case, yeah, I understand, but in general it's quite out of place to assume such a thing.

I appreciate you indirectly calling me a retard, thanks, but it's really not even close to the truth

Brian OA wrote:

I'd recommend you cut back for one moment on that fear. It's certainly a good thing to have around, but finding something to do with only that on your shoulder would be setting yourself up for failure, as ironic as it may sound.
Instead, focus on finding out what you'd like to do or what you might be interested in. The goal is to find an incentive of your own. Talk to people or look up articles and blogs on certain careers. Work a shitty job if you haven't already. Meet people and find out what they do. Travel if you can. Anything could provide some very valuable insight.

I have a number of options that I'm interested but they all have something 'wrong' with them - either studying would mean that I'd have to somehow fit in a full time job or get a very forgiving scholarship, or I'd have to continue living at home which is proving to be less and less of a viable option with how my mum and I are clashing over various household issues, or I would learn a job that will be obsolete in 10-15 years and not have a degree to secure my future
thanks for at the very least thinking along, I really appreciate that you (and fittan) are taking my concerns seriously and at least attempting to offer advice/help

fittan · ^

Aurelianus Augustus wrote:

Brian OA wrote:
You're right; I don't understand the situation. Still, my point is that that shouldn't be someone's way of life in the first place. The root of the problem, if applicable to this case, is that you end up aiming for something huge for a reason you're not really on board with. That's what is flimsy about it. Something like that will only cause frustration and inadequacy. And while it could work out given the right circumstances, I wouldn't count on it.
Alright, I understand that, but what if the person actually wants and is capable of meeting the expectations? In that case it isn't right to tell someone they're retarded, that it shouldn't be anyone's way of life or "a sheep" as Fittan mentioned it there.
In tupsu's case, yeah, I understand, but in general it's quite out of place to assume such a thing.

im saying if the only thing motivating you is expectations and wanting to beat everyone else at the game of life you're a fucking idiot.
then again, not having a clear path in mind (largely due to not having pressure or motivation to """""make it""""") is the uncontested primary reason for severe quarter-life crisis (in addition to being ovewhelmed by either or both of the two), which is almost an epidemic in our generation. even my sister, who's four years younger than me, and her clique, mostly have a clear plan for their future. at her age, neither me nor PLENTY of people i know had one and males in their early 20s are the primary consumers of mood-enhancing medication as well as the population group with the highest risk of suicide in the country, currently. it garnered a lot of media attention last year.

(finnish)
https://yle.fi/uutiset/3-8599119
http://www.suomenmaa.fi/uutiset/oecd-yh … 08fc6aba43
http://samok.fi/2016/09/22/parikymppist … in-haaste/

also, for people who do work, mood-enhancers and pain-killers (prescribed) are more common than ever recorded. finland is extremely depressed/anxious, and my view for some years has been that we are suffering from the same insane pressure to succeed as is present in some asian countries.

anecdotal sadboy garbo beneath, entirely skippable:

▼Hidden text

https://yle.fi/uutiset/3-9653220
http://www.hs.fi/kotimaa/art-2000005242139.html

Last edited by fittan (2017-06-06 19:09:05)

Brian OA · ^

tupsu wrote:

words

I don't think he's calling you retarded though

You're going to have to make a choice sooner or later, and they'll always come with their share of pros and cons. Just make sure you know what you'd be getting into when the time comes. I'm not really familiar enough with your situation to say much else, but learning that obsolete job will at least secure you time to figure something else out. shrug

Aurelianus Augustus · ^

tupsu wrote:

I appreciate you indirectly calling me a retard, thanks, but it's really not even close to the truth

I wasn't trying to refer to you in that way at all. I mentioned how he could be right about your case since I know nothing about your motivations or goals, so no, I was not sneaking in a cheeky insult directed at your person.

Fittan:
I really don't understand why someone having that specific goal is branded a retard by you. Even people with absolutely no goals and those whose goals are to do nothing in life are not worthy of being called retards, as much as I hate such types.
What they do with their lives should in theory be their concern and there is no better or worse goal to have - it's something personal.

fittan · ^

edited my post with more :opinions: if you care

fittan · ^

Aurelianus Augustus wrote:

tupsu wrote:
I appreciate you indirectly calling me a retard, thanks, but it's really not even close to the truth
I wasn't trying to refer to you in that way at all. I mentioned how he could be right about your case since I know nothing about your motivations or goals, so no, I was not sneaking in a cheeky insult directed at your person.
Fittan:
I really don't understand why someone having that specific goal is branded a retard by you. Even people with absolutely no goals and those whose goals are to do nothing in life are not worthy of being called retards, as much as I hate such types.
What they do with their lives should in theory be their concern and there is no better or worse goal to have - it's something personal.

please understand my distinction between having a goal and forcing yourself to do something out of pressure, the latter is what makes you an absolute idiot and will land you in an emotionally empty life with regrets and mid-life crisis. if you want to do something, out of your own wish and accord, you're likely in for a happy life content with what you have.

trying to "win" at the game of life, however, always makes you an idiot. no exceptions.

Aurelianus Augustus · ^

Yeah, I do share your opinion when it comes to pressure that you didn't ask for. Japan is one of many cases where you can clearly see why that's a fucking shitty thing in today's society.

One funny case where your opinion definitely applies is what happened to a cousin of mine. His parents are both extremely strict and have finished medical schools, so naturally they wanted him to become a doctor as well. He, on the other hand, hated it with passion and just wanted to be a cook. Long story short, he repeated the first year in the uni 4 times before his stubborn father realised that beating him into a pulp won't achieve anything.

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Re: ITT: Pretend we are still writing in osu! OT

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